A lot of entrepreneurs feel that they are not good enough to do what they do — to earn money doing what they love.
The crazy thing is that you don’t have to be a great – or even good – when you first start out.
Think of it this way – would you start training for a marathon by running a marathon? Heck no! You’d start with a 5K or even a 2K and work your way up.
Think about your business in the same way – you don’t have to be “holy toledo” amazing right off the get-go. You can learn, grow, try, fail, learn some more, and get better with time.
However, I get that while you’re working on your craft you might be dealing with some unwanted negative thoughts – like, “I’m not good enough!” These Negative thoughts can wreck havoc on your success because they can stop you from going out there and trying in the first place.
To help you overcome this confidence-busting, Negative Nelly hailstorm here are 3 strategies that you can start using today. And no, none of them are “just stop thinking about it” because research suggests that doesn’t work and can actually backfire on you.
Don’t just push it away, focus.
The first strategy is to not listen to the friend that says, “Just stop thinking about it” — that’s not super helpful by itself. Unless you have absolute and total control over every thought that comes into your head, trying to just stop thinking about something is super, super hard.
So, what do you do instead?
You distract yourself. But not just aimless distraction, focused distraction.
Yes, research* suggests you can use distraction as an effective way to stop thinking about thoughts you don’t want to be thinking about – whether the thoughts are about you not being all you can be, or something else.
However, the research* also suggests that you can’t just float from distraction, to distraction, hoping you’ll forget about it. You gotta get focused. Pick one distraction and focus on it and the negative thought slides away.
Sure, this might not stop it from coming back sometime later in the day. But it does make you feel better in the moment so you can keep moving forward and get whatever you need to get done, done.
Get out of the quicksand
Researchers Marcks and Woods point out that, “Struggling with your [unwanted] thought is like struggling in quicksand.”
It takes a ridiculous amount of effort to constantly try to push your negative thoughts out of your mind. Every time you think you’ve gotten somewhere, the sand shifts and you’re back where you started.
So, what should you do? Apparently Marcks and Woods’ research suggests you should be more accepting.
They say, “Watch your thoughts. Imagine that they are coming out of your ears on little signs held by marching soldiers. I want you to allow the soldiers to march by in front of you, like a little parade. Do not argue with the signs, or avoid them, or make them go away. Just watch them march by.”
What this means is that you need to own that you’re not great yet. It’s okay. The only mistake you can make moving forward is to not do anything about it.
If you wish you were better at something, make it a priority to become better. Accept where you’re at, and take steps to get to where you wish you could be. Hire a coach. Take a class. Practice every day.
This will help make you feel more empowered and in control of your future.
Put it all out there on paper.
Research suggests that writing down your deepest thoughts, fears, and feelings may help you deal with unwanted thoughts.
Think of it this way, say you have a thought, “I’m terrible at _________.” Instead of allowing that thought to bust through your confidence like a 900lb grizzly bear, you explore it. You can even ask yourself questions.
Why do I feel this way?
What makes me think I’m right about feeling this way?
How does this effect me?
Just don’t sugarcoat it. Sugarcoating things is bad for your health and your happiness.
Get honest with yourself. Write out your feelings and thoughts. Allow yourself to accept where you’re at (see strategy #2) and, instead of only trying to distract yourself (see strategy #1), give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling.
It might just help you to recognize where the root of this obstacle is coming from so you can pluck it out and carry on with your bad self.
Remember, the only person expecting you to be perfect from day one is you.
So stop assuming you’re a terrible practitioner and you’ll never get better because it just isn’t true.
You can get better and it starts with eliminating these negative beliefs from your subconscious and conscious mind.
Try one (or all) of these strategies the next time you feel those Negative Nelly thoughts creep in. Whether it takes you 3 weeks or 3 years, if you want something bad enough, I know you’ll have the patience and dedication to grow and become better every. single. day.
Jenna Dalton of JennaDalton.com is a Psychology of Success Coach. She helps women who know they should eat healthy and exercise, but they’re having a tough time actually doing it. She helps her clients get motivated, deal with obstacles and setbacks, boost their willpower and enjoy big, lasting results. Jenna is also the creator of The Success Formula, a free online program that teaches you how to get and stay healthy, happy and hot. You can get instant access by clicking here. It’s FREE!